Dante vs Edward Cullen: Chapter One!
by K0t0amatsukami
Summary: The fearsome Son Of Sparda goes head-to-head with the less than fearsome Edward Cullen! Who will win? The Demon destroying badass, or the dumb Gary Stu? Fight ideas are welcome, PM me if you have a suggestion!


_Welcome, fellow citizens of Fanfiction! Today we have the fearsome Devil hunter Dante, against the less fearsome Edward Cullen._

 _Disclaimer: If I owned Twilight, I'd have to spend all my time making it suck less. If I owned DMC, i would be doing nothiing, cause you can't fix what ain't broke._

Dante was strolling through the woods of some dumbass town in Washington State, looking for a demon that, according to Lady and Morrison, was taking possesion of young, preeteen and teen, girls, through the medium of their twisted desires. It was supposed to be fearsome thing, which meant he'd get paid, which meant more pizza, strawberry sundaes, and ice cream for that little blond brat Patty.

He just hope he wouldn't have to pay it all to Lady.

He was strolling, whistling a merry tune, Ebony Ivory in their holster, Rebellion across his back. He was just glad to get out of the shop..

 _Wait..._

He sensed an aura of pure evil, and knew that it must be the demon, but holy _Sparda_ , this thing was more evil than Mundus and Argosax put together!He whipped around, trying to spot the source of the incredible evil, when he spotted it.

It took the appearance of a human male, a little shorter than Dante, with eyes the color of stale beer. Dante knew this color well, as it was all over his fridge... Maybe he should clean it out, make more room for pizza...

Dante was so zoned out he didn't even notice the stupid demon talking to him.

"... The great Edward Cullen?!?!?!?!?!?"

Dante looked up. "What'd ya say?"

The demon, Edward Cullen, apparently, looked slightly miffed. "I _said_ , are you ignoring the Great Edward Cullen?"

Dante shrugged. "Yes?"

Edward had had enough. He rushed at Dante, baring his ridiculous little fangs, hoping to drink the slayer's blood. Dante stood there, calm as could be, while Cullen tried to pierce his flesh with his fangs, which broke against Dante's solid skin.

"OOOOWWW!!!"

Cullen leapt away, spitting teeth from his busted mouth. "How dare you ruin my perfect smile!"

"Hah!" Dante laughed. "You want a perfect smile? _This_ is a perfect smile!"

With that, Dante beamed, reflecting sunlight off his perfect smile, onto the Sparklepire, who, to no one's suprise, started sparkling.\

Dante burst out laughing, having never seen a sparkling vamp.

"What are you laughing at?" Cullen asked indignantly. "At least i can pull off red leather!"

Silence came from the devil hunter. His head snapped up, and what the sparklepuss saw, chilled him to the core.

Dante's eyes were pure glowing hellfire. He was pissed.

Cullen laughed. No mere mortal could best him, no matter their glowy eyes.

Dante exploded in a flash of red lightning, and in his place stood a fearsome Devil, all black and red scales, bulging muscles, fangs that put Cullen to shame, and claws that could flay him alive. Dante flew forward, as fast as light, slamming into Cullen, lifting him into the sky, before tossing him into space...

In Space:

Cullen breached the atmosphere, and since he didn't need to breathe, he was fine...

Until Dante appeared next to him, raising hi fists in a hammerblow, slamming him down to earth with such force that he cleared the cloud layer above Washington State, and Cullen's body made a crater fifty feet wide and twenty feet deep, with his body cracked almost beyond recognition, but already starting to mend.

Until Dante slammed into him at roughly lightspeed, deepening the crater, cracking Cullen further, before drawing back an Ifrit, hellfire covered hand, punching the Sparklepuss, breaking him in half and setting him on fire, burning the remains.

"Nobody, _NOBODY,_ insults my leather, _ever!_ ''

 _And it's over! Cullen has learned his place, if you'll forgive a RosarioVampire ref._

 _Reasons for the outcome:_

 _Edward Cullen is stronger, faster, and more durable than a normal human, but he is far from indestructable, as many Twilight fans have purported him to be. He has been shown to crack when slammed against hard surfaces, and his skin is not bullet proof. he may be faster than the eye can see(This is debateable). Dante can dodge lasers. And run on lightning._

 _Durability: Dante has taken bone-shattering blows, such as the Saviour Punch(This feat is very valid, and has no controversey over it, unlike Yang Xiao Long's pillar feat) He has been shot, impaled, sliced, diced, burned, shocked, and otherwise abused. Cullen couldn't take one-tenth of the punishment._

 _Combat experience: Dante has been fighting demons since well before he was nineteen, and is now roughly mid--late forties, resulting in over thirty years of experience._

 _Cullen, while older, it is never clarified how much of his hundred year life, how much of that was spent fighting, so he could have equal or even less experience than Dante, and the quality of enemies has to be considered as well. Dante consistently fights bigger, tougher, faster, stronger, more deadly enemies than Cullen, and Cullen has never fought anything stronger than other vampires and werewolves. Plus, I fucking hate Edward Cullen, and that didn't help his case any._

 _I know I'm probably going to get flamed hard for this, but any one who can give me a valid reason as to how Cullen can stand against Dante, is welcoome._


End file.
